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Poems By Randy Green [editor's note; these poems were written by Randy Green, and transcribed by Larry Clayton, a member of the Tuscaloosa Prison Ministry; email lclayton@simplecom.net] Table of Contents Poem # 1 Holding On! Holding On! Enraged by self-pity and anger...even threatened with dark thoughts of a mental break down.....Totally lost beyond hope....severely engulfed in agony, grief and pain...desperately seeking for reassurance of my crumbling faith from the one above...for only his grace can fill this empty void I feel inside. Oh, my dear Lord...guide me as I travel down this dark path....please! grasp and soothe these trembling hands of mine...heal my broken heart....for this battered and bruised body....has been drained of its endurance....Robbed of its happiness and joy....leaving it weak and lame....even paralyzed by all this pain. I could only hold my tear streaked face down trying to conceal its shame.... Still with each desperate attempt....trying to escape the true reality of my deeply beloved lost, of a soul seeking prodigal....still I'm confronted by failure with each attempt....looking, seeking, reaching for something to grasp....only to keep myself from loosing my self-control even in a time like this, God still should be glorified for only when we take our eyes off the Lord we immediately become lost...oh, my precious Lord. Kneeling, weeping, hopeless--could it be, is it possible? Am I loosing my mind? On dear Lord, you promised if I knock that the door would be open for me, still on bended knee silently casting prayers....overwhelmed by warm emotions as they stirred within me a silent voice whispers into my ear saying to me "you're not alone." Finally revealing even the countless tears that I painfully shed was a true time of testing...for I know he'd let me endure it for a reason, still through it all I must hold on I must never give up.
Lost and Found Chained, enslaved, bound, by dark forces that are unseen to the naked eye, even with open eyes. I'm still unable to see, for these dark forces have slowly crept upon me penetrating through my soul, seeping into my veins leaving me poisoned by evil even consumed by pain.... Still with each desperate attempt I'm unable to explain the emptiness I feel deep within my soul.... Countless prayers leave me with bruised knees and a tear-streaked face looking for a place to escape and hide for it is so hard to keep my head to the sky.... Mystified still, I manage to keep a firm grasp of the smallest glimpse of my crumbling faith as my only survival. Waiting patiently for the darkness of these strong forces that dwells within my soul to gradually ease its piercing grasp...releasing me from this captivity...for only her beauty and love can release its secured hold, setting me free.... For the gateway to my heart has finally been unveiled releasing all its precious love to her, setting her soul on fire, arousing her deepest, darkest fantasies and unveiling all her secrets, even truly dark dark sexual deries...sensually showering her with delicate kisses, all in return for my love for her.... I once was lost, blind and enslaved, like so many mysteries that have never been told, her love has crept slowly into my mind, body, and soul, traveling through the darkness that swells deep inside my bruised body, finding its way to my heart.... discovering what a priceless treasure it is....finally realizing that through it all, it was worth the long agonizing and painful wait.... for I once was lost, but through her precious love I was found and set free....
For You I Will For you I will travel the world to search endlessly for the smallest signs of your beauty and love.... For you I will dedicate my mind, body, and soul along with all my love to you.... For you I will always be by your side in wrong or right, in youth or in age, sickness or in health, as a reminder to you just how deep and pure my love is for you.... For you I will keep my arms open wide for when things get hard and you need somewhere to escape and hide, even when things start to feel like they are impossible, and you break down and cry I will always be there gently brushing each and every tear away from your eyes. Gripping you with a firm and assured hold, softly whispering in your ear, "you're even more beautiful with years in your eyes." For you will lways keep the door to my hear unlocked and the gateway to my love unveiled, for in this moment my feelings for you can't be withheld. All I Want All I want is to see you truly happy and engulfed by love, for I know that's what your heart truly deserves. All I want is for you to always have someone by your side when ever you need a true friend or maybe just someone to hold. Whenever things get hard and you find there's no one to call. All I want is for you to remember this, for it is true; you're very special and someone cares.... All I want is for your dreams and desires to come true, one by one, blossoming int a beautiful assortment of the world's most precious flowers! All I want is to earn a little of your trust, to let you see, just how much your friendship means to me....please don't forget I hold you high and God loves you and so do I.... All I want is to be your genie in a bottle, to grant your every wish, just to admire your beautiful smile...
My Love For You My love for you is true. It travels beyond the deepest depths of a liquid blue sky...It's more purer than the world's finest gold...like many mysteries, that are yet to be discovered...My love for you could never be understood.... Countless prayers, restless days, and sleepless nights, I wati patiently for our lives to once again cross paths....I give my all to trust in the Lord. As I grasp my faith...mysterious, somehow I manage to keep tears from spilling down my face....how unique my love is;...nothing could ever take its place. My love for you, I keep veiled heavily guarded in a special place...only my soulmate holds the special key, to unlock my precious heart....to he one above, I'll give anything, to shower you with all my love; even with a special request; I would love nothing more than to be able to share my dreams, secrets and my deepest desires with you...only if you knew my true feelings, I only hold for you...for I could never stop loving you.... Baby, you're the one for me...."I love you."
Misery and Pain Misery and pain, trials and tribulations In our life time we all face, the forces of dark demons who silently awaken, creeping, lurking and seeking for lost innocent souls to devour. Even with open eyes we're still blinded, even consumed by total darkness, chained bound enslaved looking to escape such grief and pain. Nothing seems clear, for these dark forces are constantly feasting off our fears, misery and pain leaving us weak and lame.... Captured and bound by their fierce grasp, with each attempt we seem to fail....could it be that we're trapped in hell? "with burning souls?" Waiting patiently, for signs of the smallest light to brighten our paths, still the dark demons rob us of the little time we have... With bruised knees and tear straked faces, from countless prayers that cant be withheld, surrounded by so much evil, engulfed by so much misery and pain. Still the dark demons laugh mischievously, with a devilish grin, their only survival is our weakness, misery and pain. Satisfied by its false success, for their only goals are steal, kill and destroy, leaving behind a trail of destruction of so much misery and pain as a reminder that the dark and evil forces are never at rest... Soul Mates Destiny and love intertwined in one's soul, A Heart of Gold A heart of gold...still so many mysteries it holds beyond its surface...thoughts of self reliance!....freedom!...equality!...liberation!....self-realization! Oh! how I mourn with deep emptiness, for Independence....still in my mind, I realize they're only a figment of my imagination...flurries like snow...pleasing...so it seems exciting! to us all...promising beauty...adventure even a temporary release of an unseen spirit.... Invisible to the open, but naked eye.... Mysteriously....it all melts away, unveiling its true reality, desperately seeking, looking for the smallest signs of its true identity...are these just words? Could they only be ideals that are doomed, like snowflakes...transforming itself into a temporary--almost imaginary--substance? A heart of gold...deprived of its limitations...chained...bound, enslaved, even lost in a compassionate pursuit of its desired destiny...engulfed by self pity, control by vulnerable emotions...neglected of its self-expression...still it's expected to perform. Some how it finds a hidden strength deep within to beat on...striding peacefully beyond its limits...for only if they knew its true beauty...only God knows my true heart and the priceless treasures it stores, still through it all I'm truly blessed with a heart of gold. A Fairy Tale It's been so long since heard her thrilling voice. I am thinking of a fairy tale that is not yet written, for a queen who has not yet been crowned....In the never truly ever, truly dark dark night, she's a smile that can bring brightness to anything. Silver and gold, diamonds and peals, glow off the softness of her skin. No man I swear will make her shed no not one drop of a tear from her sparkling eyes. A long time ago we vowed to one another we said we'd walk together, come what may that come the the twilight should we lose our way if as we're walking a hand should slip free and should I fall behind wait for me. I'm thinking of a fairy tale which two people aboard a bid red ship. Blue sky above, liquid sky below, tropical fishes swimming below. I lay in the quiet thinking, wondering would she like to hear me, read my poetry to her. The sky ready to listen. We watch the horizon, the clouds dissipating in circular motions in the invisible air listening to the wind as it blows in my face, taking my breathe away. I read her poetry on this moonlit night. Soon we'll commit suicide in the name of love, flinging ourselves into the darkness of the ocean, one complete somersault after another, as a wounded bird falling to its death. Then I heard a scream afterwards, it seemed like a dream , as it turned out only to be a fairy tale. A Dreamer Who is she, I wonder as she appears in my dreams. Then she disappears as snowflakes slowly...slowly transforming itself into an almost imaginary substance. What is her name, I'll ask myself, realizing that she's so much of a mystery. Where are her roots planted, as a farmer when he plants a seed and waits patiently for its harvest. I to will wait until I fall into a deep sleep and she reappears in my dreams. When I'm alone I'll think of her, is she alone? Is she cared for and loved? I try to imagine her smiling and laughing at my silly jokes. There's a glow in my hear that I never felt before--not exactly in my heart yet but it was what would be there if I rode just may be deeper down fantasy lane in the busy dark. Ride and wait, wait and watch.... I never felt this way before I guess it's because there's a moon out tonight. I picture a deep pool with red and yellow flowers drifting on its surface. Then she emerges out of the surface and makes an overall pleasing arousal in my deepest and darkest desires. When she looks up and says my name, the sand arriving like trill of a bird so rare its rumored no longer to exist. |